I JUST FIND IT FUNNY HOW...
Updated: Feb 28, 2019
You ever feel like people don't hold the same energy as you do in friendships, relationships and all things alike? I see many people down my timelines complaining about the lack of support from family and friends, specifically regarding their business endeavors/crafts. You go all out of your way to put on for people by sharing their events, their social media posts, their business pages. You invest by purchasing products they’re offering to display their craft. You encourage them on their roads of accomplishing goals, but when you're excited about your own goal or announcing an accomplishment, you always receive some dry ass congrats if anything? It’s like DAMN, I'm practically an unpaid brand ambassador for your shit and you can’t even reciprocate that same energy!? THEN, you see them up and down your timeline putting on for people they hardly know and your like "THAT'S HOW YOU REALLY FEEL DAWG!?"
I am a huge believer that you CAN NOT solely depend on friends and family alone to make your business successful! Nothing means more, than to have the support of your own, but sometimes that expectation is unrealistic for a few different reasons:
1.) They don't know that their support is important. Now myself personally as well as many entrepreneurs reading this are probable like "how tf don’t they know their support matters!?", there are so many people who don’t understand the benefits of sharing a post. Word of mouth is the best advertisement for a business because you never know who a post may reach! I think by having those authentic and maybe even uncomfortable conversations with our loved ones can bring a better understanding as to why they don’t support us.
2.) They may be selective (or as I call it, a bit SELFISH) in what they choose to share on their personally pages. Everyone has this "it’s my page and I'll post what I want" mentality, but I think that also applies to what they don’t post. People simply won't share your work because they don't want to. Point. Blank. Period! I had a friend (notice the key word there) who I always saw sharing their other friend's business pages, initiatives and projects but never shared my posts for my hair page! On multiple occasions I had asked " hey can you share my hair page with your sisters or cousins that have natural hair? I think they’d really like the page and find it beneficial!" For weeks, even months of practically begging this friend to share my work, NOTHING. I finally decided to have that uncomfortable "why don’t you support me" convo with that friend and they dead ass told me "I don’t care to share anything on my personal page that doesn’t directly benefit me!".... which I knew wasn't the complete truth and which brings me to the painful truth of reason number 3,
3.) THEY DON'T WANT TO SUPPORT YOU! Let’s be real, some people don’t really fuck with you how they claim they do. They hide behind these "friend" masks all the while, they don’t truly believe you're capable of being successful! They've made up in their minds what you will become and success isn't a part of what they've imagined, so wtf do they look like sharing your business!? #TUH
I know for a fact I’ve had "friends" who never really believed I would make it. Don’t think I can be successful; don’t think I’ll accomplish dreams I have because I’m not doing it their way or the way its "supposed" to happen, but those same people hang on by a thread. They share a post 1 time a year just in case I blow up, they can say "I was there from the beginning"...
4.) As hard as this next point may be to swallow, WE ALL NEED TO HEAR IT!
One reason why we dont receive the support we believe is deserved is because people can’t see us past who they know us to be! Yes growth comes as life lessons are learned, yes we become better humans, yes we build our work ethic as we mature and yes we get to a point in life where we completely GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER! However let's be honest, there may have been some point in time where we've shown inconsistency and was a hot mess! One major reason why we can’t get support from people we know is due to our own previous patterns. We started a business for the 5th time or we've said that wanted to accomplish some goal that we never quite got around to. In no way, shape or form am I saying that people should hang who you used to be over your head, but they should and many WILL hold you accountable! These are the people who will say, "I know you as someone who is indecisive and unreliable. I know you as someone who hasn't always been sure about their business. I know you as someone who for whatever reason, could never get it together". So now you find yourself in a place where you must prove yourself to these type of people and show them that you’re no longer that type of person, nor do you possess those characteristics. Although them not being able to change their way of thinking is ultimately their own personal problem, in this case, you do have to accept responsibility for your hand in the reasoning behind them not showing support!
5.) BONUS NUGGET, after a certain point of support (some) family members always want a discount or the hook up! NAW RICK! Support my craft without the family discount! LOL
While I can completely identify with this dilemma, I've learned to put my energy into networking, rather than allowing that disappointment from lack of support to fuel me! The very fortunate part about networking is that you create a support system with people who you’re learning, but will still put on for you! Networking has so many benefits and can be a major stream of support for businesses!
1.) Its a great resource for shared knowledge! You have the opportunity to receive feedback, gain new ideas and expand your way of thinking when it comes to your craft! Its a good way to pick the brains of those who have been where you've been and adsorb some wisdom!
2.) Networking leads to connections which could lead to opportunities! Sometimes the people you may know can be a catalyst for your success! Let me put this into perspective for you; I meet a friend through networking, who introduces me to a well established business owner who's hosting an event. That new friend tells me she’s looking for vendors or small businesses to do popups at her event and she would love to have me table for her! Not only did this opportunity place me in a position to connect with other business owners, it also gives my business exposure & earned income. Also, I now have increased confidence in myself as well as my business as I become more established!
Break out of your comfort zone and get your craft to people that think outside of the box because you never know who it'll reach! When you’re trying to be a business owner, throw out the fear of rejection, fear of failure, the fear of being annoying and the fear of over advertising your craft! Remember to always prove your worth to yourself, you owe success to you and no one else! The people that are meant to support you WILL support you, wholeheartedly and authentically!
I make this statement in the humblest way that I can, fuck with me while you have the chance! **hair flip**
blessings, love and much success,